DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN:
What chicken?

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

WERNER HEISENBERG:
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

IMMANUEL KANT:
The chicken was acting out of a sense of duty to cross the road, as chickens have traditionally crossed roads throughout history.

COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?

L.A. POLICE DEPARTMENT:
Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.