Bart Simpson's Chalk Board Sentences

From the Opening Scenes of "The Simpsons"

I will not waste chalk. 
I will not aim for the head. 
I will not barf unless I'm sick.
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge. 
I will not conduct my own fire drills. 
Funny noises are not funny. 
I will not snap bras. 
I will not fake seizures. 
This punishment is not boring and pointless. 
My name is not Dr. Death. 
I will not prescribe medication. 
I will not bury the new kid. 
I will not teach others to fly. 
I will not bring sheep to class. 
Teacher is not a leper. 
I will not eat things for money. 
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call. 
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee. 
I will not call the principal "spud head". 
Goldfish don't bounce. 
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups. 
I will not sell miracle cures. 
I will return the seeing-eye dog. 
I will not charge admission to the bathroom. 
I will never win an emmy. 
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy. 
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause. 
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers. 
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man. 
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle. 
Organ transplants are best left to professionals. 
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan". 
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones. 
There are plenty of businesses like show business. 
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun. 
I will not instigate revolution. 
I did not see Elvis. 
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes". 
Garlic gum is not funny. 
They are laughing at me, not with me. 
I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom. 
I will not encourage others to fly. 
I will not fake my way through life. 
Tar is not a plaything. 
I will not Xerox my butt. 
It's potato, not potatoe. 
I will not trade pants with others. 
I will not drive the principal's car. 
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart. 
I will not sell school property. 
I will not get very far with this attitude. 
I will not belch the National Anthem. 
I will not grease the monkey bars. 
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment. 
I will not do anything bad ever again. 
I will not show off. 
I am not a dentist. 
Nobody likes sunburn slappers. 
I will not bribe Principal Skinner. 
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender. 
Hamsters cannot fly.
Underwear should be worn on the inside. 
I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten. 
I am not my long-lost twin.
I will not hide the teacher's Prozac.
A fire drill does not demand a fire.
My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld.
I cannot hire a substitute student.
I will not obey the voices in my head.